Slow, lazy Sunday morning. Mother busy in the studio, cats fast asleep. So of course, I watch TV. Catch five minutes of the 1992 film Dil Aashna Hai, directed by Hema Malini. (And if these five minutes are anything to go by, it is rather merciful of her to have directed only one film after that.)
Picture the following scene:
Three college girls played by Dimple Kapadia (with geeky spectacles, and a haircut that was clearly inspired by her husband), Amrita Singh (who is, in the next scene, quite aptly compared to a horse by her suitor) and Sonu Walia (I can be Miss India too), stand in the office of the college principal, played by the reasonably talented, if slightly uni-dimensional Sushma Seth.
Sushma Seth: Maine suna hai ki tum teeno college ke baahar ladkon se milti ho?
Amrita Singh: Nahi, nahi...
Dimple Kapadia: Haan, principal saheba, magar isme buraai kya hai?
Sushma Seth: Nahi... buraai nahi hai...hmm. Achha, kya tum logon ko gaadi chalana aata hai?
All three girls: Haan.
Sushma Seth: To yeh bataao: agar tumhe bina brake ki gaadi chalane ko bola jaae, to kya tum chalaogi?
All three girls: Nahi.
Sushma Seth: To theek isi tarha, jawaani bhi ek bina brake ki gadi hai. Chalane mein maza to bahut aata hai, par agae ek ghalti ho gayi, to uski keemat zindagi bhar chukani padti hai.
At this point, I am beside myself with laughter. Also, I desperately want to point out to principal sahiba, that if jawaani is like driving a car, and the possibility of a sexual encounter is like not having a brake on that car, one must always consider using the hand brake. No pun (or symbolism) intended.